I am not the same person I was a year ago.
In January 2020, I attended a workshop to design my year. I had big plans for calendar clarity (Liz Lemon, anyone?) and emerged with the seed of what would lead to a transformation of the person I am, the beliefs I hold about myself, and my relationship with my voice. In that workshop, I learned that I have a deep desire to sing. “Sing?” You might be asking. “But, Audrey, you’re a professional singer and a voice coach. You sing ALL the time.” It’s true. I do sing all the time (almost literally). I sing every day. I use my voice to teach and practice and perform. What I realized on that day back in January was that there was a certain type of singing missing in my life.
I was missing the kind of singing that is just for me. The pure joy kind of singing. The kind of singing I use to do while dancing on the coffee table as a six-year-old. The kind of singing I would do while walking the school yard perimeter at recess with my friends. The kind of singing I would do while blasting Mariah Carey through the boombox with a microphone, my own make-shift at-home karaoke set-up. The kind of singing that, when I closed my eyes, I could feel my heart beating, glowing, full of joy.
Okay, so, I had this desire, a desire to sing. And, as my coach Lael Petersen says, “Desire is the language of intuition.”
Well, then, it was settled: I was on a journey to hear my intuition!
I began to take steps to hear that inner voice, that little whisper that has always been there. I created space in my schedule and started saying “no” to opportunities that didn’t feel right or align with where I was going next. I began exercising and meditating in earnest, even leading guided meditations and Soul Sings for friends and family. I found a new daily rhythm and connected with a community of other ladies who are all on a similar journey to know themselves and thrive. And then, one day, it happened. I was seated in my meditation nook, ukulele in hand, strumming and singing songs that felt good, and a tune came to me. And the words followed. And before I knew it, I had written not one, but two songs. Just like that. Two songs that would become part of the music cycle for my meditation community. I had never much considered myself a songwriter. But, in that moment, something shifted, and I began to see my voice and myself in a new way.
Through all of this, a clearing has formed, and a message has come shining through: a call to heal. To nurture. To guide.
In August, I decided to experiment. Using my knowledge of the voice and my lived understanding of human behavior and accessing one’s inner voice, I wanted to form a group of women who would be in community as they work toward loving and embracing their voice and standing up fully in themselves. I would call this group Full Voice, playing off the term used in opera and musical theatre to describe when an actor is singing or speaking at full capacity, using everything they’ve got, no holding back.
Well, friends, I am excited to announce that the Full Voice experiment continues! This week, I wrap up six weeks with seven amazing women who have been working with me to build and shape the Full Voice program, which will open to the public in January. The even better news is that it debuts for my close community this month. That’s right, friends, YOU can join me for the first round of Full Voice starting November 17. Details are on the Full Voice page, and if you’re interested, send me a message or sign up for a Discovery Call to learn more. Anyone who signs up for this first round in November will receive a special code for $300 off the full price as a “thank you” from me for being a founding member of the program.
My journey toward honoring my voice has been empowering and transformative.
Not only have I returned to that childhood joy of singing, but I’ve also found direction in the work I am meant to be doing in this world. I see now that my voice can be an agent for healing myself and empowering others to do the same.
I want you to know that if you’re feeling stuck and have this glimmer of hope that things can change, then you’ve already begun your transformation. The next step? Reach out. Get curious. Experiment. As Cate Stillman says, “Dream big. Test small. Fail fast.”
This is your life. You have the power. You know who you are.
The first step to finding your voice is to listen.
Lots of love and a heart full of song,
Audrey